*EDITING PROJECT* 04/11/2018

 

I attended my first meeting at the CIM. The meeting consisted of myself and other editing students and Mike Osborne the director of WMOT led it. He told us the purpose of these meetings is to share and collaborate on news stories. This gives students an opportunity to hear the latest news stories and get feedback from peers to develop new stories. Once, stories are developed or decided upon the meetings help students find whom they need to speak to in order to move forward with the stories and develop content for the news stories.

During the meeting, Osborne talked about many different interesting local news stories that could be considered a story idea. Each student including myself went around the table and shared interesting stories that we have read about in the news. The news stories were very interesting and gave each person an opportunity to learn about new topics and the media world. I shared a news story about Tennessee opening new voting polls and listened to the feedback of others about my idea. This was an interesting opportunity for students to come together and experience the idea of a newsroom.

I feel that these meetings are very important especially for WMOT and sidelines because there is always breaking and news in general. There is always something happening locally that may be a great topic to turn into a story. I believe that multiple people work better than one so being able to share stories, learn new topics, and get the opinions of others in this type of setting is important. Overall, this was a great successful meeting and it was a good experience.

 

*10 Copy Editing Mistakes*

  1. I believe the quotes good but suppose to use “says” instead of “said” due to past tense writing styles.

Perry started Raiderthon her sophomore year at MTSU and said she is always excited to help the children that the fundraiser benefits.

“I’m really passionate about the children’s hospital because I actually stayed in one as a child, and I want to do something to help,” says Perry.

Monroe Carell Jr. Children’s Hospital Director of Operations Morgan Wright brings his wife and children to the event every year to experience the fundraising opportunity.

“I was here year one, and in year one, there might have been 10 people here,” says Wright. “To see it grow from where it was three years to now is really exciting.”

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/04/video-third-annual-raiderthon-raises-money-for-middle-tennessee-childrens-hospital/

  1. This paragraph had many grammar errors, typos and inappropriate usage of punctuation.

Cultural appropriation is a genuine topic that should be discussed. I do not believe that Bruno Mars is a cultural appropriator; a quick dive into his music catalog will reveal nothing short of an incredibly talented, original pop artist. Not to mention, Mars stated on multiple occasions that growing up he was heavily influenced by many artists accused of appropriating. While I do not believe Mars to be guilty, he is thriving under a system that is failing reward originality. In most instances of appropriation culture and style is taken from a minority. It should not be difficult to understand these individuals might feel aggrieved that their art and way of life is being exploited. Especially when the artists from the same minority are not receiving the same exposure and acclaim for the music they grew up on and understand more than anyone else understands. I believe if an artist is going to actively take elements of a culture they are not familiar with to put into their music, make the effort to give exposure to the culture, and maybe giving a little shine to the artists from that culture goes a long way and takes nothing away from your craft. Of course, not everyone might be privy to the necessary information or have the patience to do the research, which is why artists, consumers, and everybody involved in the chain of music consumption should actively listen when such instances of social missteps are being called out. Much like the #MeToo movement, exposing a range of individuals in the entertainment industry, there are so many wrong practices that might be occurring in terms of cultural appropriation in music, and until somebody cries foul there is no way of bringing them to light.

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/03/opinion-bruno-mars-and-the-issue-of-cultural-appropriation-in-pop-music/

  1. I was not sure about the “on his person” phrase for a news story. Putting myself in the reader’s shoes, it has to be clear for the audience to understand the content in the story. Also, the same word “victim” was used more than once close together in the sentences.

Murfreesboro Police responded to a report of a man being assaulted with a metal pipe at InTown Suites on Friday at approximately 7 p.m.

Upon arrival, officers made contact with the victim. The victim stated to police that he was standing in the parking lot of InTown Suites and was approached by the suspect. The unidentified suspect was wearing a dark hat and a backpack and was riding a mountain bike. The suspect asked the victim if the he was carrying any cigarettes. The victim said that he didn’t have any cigarettes but would bring one down from his room. The victim said that when he came back down from his room with a cigarette, the suspect was near the dumpster in the parking lot. When the victim attempted to give the suspect a cigarette, the victim was hit in the ribs with what he believed was a metal pipe. The victim then ran back into the hotel, and the suspect drove into the woods on his bike. Police did not locate the suspect.

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/04/crime-murfreesboro-police-respond-to-report-of-assault-with-metal-pipe-at-intown-suites/

  1. For this story, the headline was not worried correctly. It is missing words.

Former MTSU student reportedly kills mother and friend with long rifle in East Ridge, Tennessee.

ALSO I corrected:

Casey Lawhorn, a 23-year-old former MTSU student, reportedly shot and killed his mother Vi Lawhorn and his friend Avery Gaines in East Ridge, Tennessee, on Sunday. Lawhorn, a former political science major at MTSU, enrolled at the university in spring 2013 and withdrew on Sept. 29, 2016.

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/04/former-mtsu-student-kills-mother-friend-with-long-rifle-in-east-ridge-tennessee/

  1. Former Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen currently holds a 10 percentage-point lead over Republican Representative. Marsha Blackburn among state voters in the contest for Senate. Bob Corker’s seat, according to a new MTSU poll. Additionally, the poll shows that the favorite of the 2018 gubernatorial race candidates is too close to call between Republicans Randy Boyd, Diane Black and Beth Harwell and Democrat Karl Dean, and the approval rating of President Donald Trump remained the same from the October 2017 MTSU poll at 50 percent.

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/04/mtsu-poll-phil-bredesen-leads-senate-race-gubernatorial-race-leader-too-close-to-call/

  1. I corrected words that should be lowercased and corrected “$600”.

Murfreesboro Police responded to an armed robbery at the shell gas station on Greenland Drive on Saturday at approximately 7:41 a.m.

Upon arrival, officers made contact with a gas station employee. The employee stated that a man entered the station and demanded the money in the cash register. The employee said that she laughed at the man, and the man then pointed a silver handgun at the employee. The employee then emptied the cash register and handed approximately six hundred dollars to the man. Shortly after, the man fled the scene

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/04/crime-murfreesboro-police-respond-to-armed-robbery-at-shell-gas-station-on-greenland-drive/

  1. I fixed words that should not be used and I also fixed overuse of commas.

A local criminal defense lawyer informed a group of students on the ins and outs of police searches and their constitutional rights in those situations Monday in the Student Union Building as a part of a three-week lecture series.

Attorney W. Scott Kimberly gave the talk as a part of a series, entitled “Can Police Do That?” which is co-sponsored by the MTSU College Republicans, College Democrats and Young Americans for Liberty. The other two lectures in the series will be provided by Hunter Fowler, another local criminal defense lawyer, and Richard Kimberly, a retired lawyer and Kimberly’s father. Kimberly tailored his presentation, which he has been conducting for four years at colleges, churches, businesses, and many other locations for the student audience.

 

  1. The incorrect usage of dashes and grammar.

Well, that is the thing: I owned the place – figuratively anyway. Not so much anymore.

I am a new me!  MTSU freshman ready to tackle whatever comes my way. (I took the : off because it doesn’t list items)

http://mtsusidelines.com/2017/08/a-new-me-a-freshmans-every-thought-as-the-semester-begins/

  1. Comma usage

The headlining performances were preceded by an MTSU student hip-hop artist going by the name Qualls who—alongside his live band—served as the opening act for the event. Qualls delivered a somber set rife with introspective lyrics and mellow instrumentals reminiscent of a J. Cole or Kendrick Lamar performance something traditional hip-hop heads likely appreciated.

 

  1. Grammar usage and incorrect punctuation.

New York Fashion Week ended Friday, Feb. 16, following the presentations of various designers’ Fall/Winter 2018 collections. Everyone’s eyes were glued to these collections and each piece was analyzed for upcoming trends. Among the dazzling display of garments, animal print stood out quickly. This is not the bright, artificially colored animal print from your middle school days, though. These prints are expertly incorporated into sophisticated designs. However, you do not have to pay high-fashion prices to recreate these runway looks with pieces from your favorite stores. Here are some ways you can start wearing the trend before everyone else catches on this fall.

PART THREE:

  1. It does not include the day of the week.

Westover opens Pre Winter Jam with an unique dance at Winter Jam festival at Bridgestone Arena on Feb. 2, 2018.(MTSU Sidelines / Cynthia Garcia.)

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/02/photo-gallery-winter-jam-festival-comes-to-bridgestone-arena-for-eventful-night-of-music/

It should say:

Westover opens Pre Winter Jam with an unique dance at Winter Jam festival at Bridgestone Arena on Friday,  Feb. 2, 2018.(MTSU Sidelines / Cynthia Garcia.)

  1. I believe the number is supposed to be shortened and the quote is supposed to say, “says” instead of said due to past tense usage. Also, the last quote is missing who stated the quote at the end of the sentence. (IT) could also just be written normal “It” in a quote.

Original: “Last year, we raised $200, 595 for breast cancer,” Ash said. “Every year we have more and more people supporting our cause because of their family members or friends dying of breast cancer or cancer in general. It’s a wonderful feeling, though, that everyone enjoys this event that we host every year. Wine, strolling through the square, listening to music. (It) does not get any better than that.”

http://mtsusidelines.com/2017/09/saint-thomas-rutherford-foundation-hosts-6th-annual-wine-around-the-square/

 

Correct: “Last year, we raised about 2 hundred thousand dollars for breast cancer,” says Ash. “Every year we have more and more people supporting our cause because of their family members or friends dying of breast cancer or cancer in general. It’s a wonderful feeling, though, that everyone enjoys this event that we host every year. Wine, strolling through the square, listening to music. It does not get any better than that.” Says Ash.

 

  1. This sentence capitalized a word that did not need to be emphasized during this sentence although I understood the purpose. It should also say, “says”.

Original: “To make this topic OK for students to talk about to their friends or professors or whoever they feel comfortable with is the goal,” Dean said. “We don’t want to chastise them or victim-blame.”

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/04/june-anderson-center-hosts-stand-up-and-speak-out-bystander-intervention-training-event-at-mtsu/

 

Correct: “To make this topic ok for students to talk about to their friends or professors or whoever they feel comfortable with is the goal,” says Dean. “We don’t want to chastise them or victim-blame.”

 

  1. This sentence is correct but has a few grammar errors.

Original: Time has gone by so fast, and the spring semester is coming to an end. From tons of homework to a lot of exams, how do MTSU students manage to survive the end of the semester? Ten students share their tips on how to stay on track and prepare for finals

 

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/04/tips-for-surviving-the-end-of-the-semester/

Correct: Time has gone by so fast, and the spring semester is ending. From tons of homework to many exams, how do MTSU students manage to survive the end of the semester? Ten students share their tips on how to stay on track and prepare for finals

  1. Tennessee is supposed to say “Tenn.” Not “TN” and it does not include the day of the week.

 

Original: Junior Alex Johnson waves to the fans during Murphy Madness in Murfreesboro, TN on October 26, 2017 (Devin P. Grimes/ MTSU Sidelines)

 

http://mtsusidelines.com/2017/10/photo-gallery-blue-raiders-show-athleticism-shooting-touch-in-2017-murphy-madness/

 

Correct: Junior Alex Johnson waves to the fans during Murphy Madness in Murfreesboro, Tenn., on Thursday, October 26, 2017 (Devin P. Grimes/ MTSU Sidelines)

  1. This sentence does not need the ‘ behind the word Boro.

 

Original: Family and Community Outreach Coordinator Jolene Radnoti said the ‘Boro International Festival gives Murfreesboro an opportunity to learn and better understand cultures different from their own.

http://mtsusidelines.com/2017/11/photos-cannonsburgh-village-hosts-second-annual-boro-international-festival/

 

Correct: Family and Community Outreach Coordinator Jolene Radnoti said the Boro International Festival gives Murfreesboro an opportunity to learn and better understand cultures different from their own.

 

  1. The date is supposed to say Dec. Instead of December

Original: On December 26, 2017, the 6,200-square-foot restaurant hosted over 350 people for its grand opening. Among guests was Nashville native Zach Spalding, who said Party Fowl is more than just hot chicken.

http://mtsusidelines.com/2018/01/photos-take-a-look-inside-murfreesboros-newest-hot-chicken-shack-party-fowl/

 

Correct: On Dec. 26, 2017, the 6,200-square-foot restaurant hosted over 350 people for its grand opening. Among guests was Nashville native Zach Spalding, who said Party Fowl is more than just hot chicken.

 

*** Photo captions are missing the day of the week. *** On, this page I noticed many mistakes with the photo captions. They are perfect in my opinion; it just does not include the dates for this particular event. They should include “Wednesday” because this is the day the event took place.

  1. Developers Scott Graby (left) and Sherry Dasilva (right) prepare to cut the ribbon at the grand opening of The Soda Bar and Homegrown Marketplace’s in Murfreesboro, Tenn. on Nov. 1, 2017. (Shade Narramore / MTSU Sidelines)
  2. A trendy welcome sign invites guests inside the newly opened Homegrown Marketplace in Murfreesboro, Tenn. on Nov. 1, 2017. (Shade Narramore / MTSU Sidelines)
  3. Decor is available for purchase at Homegrown Marketplace in Murfreesboro, Tenn. on Nov. 1, 2017. (Shade Narramore / MTSU Sidelines)

For example: The photo caption should be written:

  1. Developers Scott Graby (left) and Sherry Dasilva (right) prepare to cut the ribbon at the grand opening of The Soda Bar and Homegrown Marketplace’s in Murfreesboro, Tenn. Wednesday, Nov. 1, 2017. (Shade Narramore / MTSU Sidelines)
  2. A trendy welcome sign invites guests inside the newly opened Homegrown Marketplace in Murfreesboro, Tenn. Wednesday, Nov. 1, 2017. (Shade Narramore / MTSU Sidelines)
  3. 10. Decor is available for purchase at Homegrown Marketplace in Murfreesboro, Tenn. Wednesday Nov. 1, 2017. (Shade Narramore / MTSU Sidelines)
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